This 2012 re-post is a blast from the past that I thought might serve as a relevant reminder during this time of war. It’s so easy to look at the events in the world today and begin to blame and become indignant. Even so, this Sept. 28, 2012 re-post and this quote below are my reminders.
“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself, if you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
– Lao Tzu
A Message to Myself (a re-post)
This message is to myself. I’m writing to that part of me that’s played the murderer, the messiah, the masochist, the messenger. The me that’s played the terrorist, the rapist, the racist. The one that’s been the rioter, the revolutionary, the prophet and the “devil incarnate.”
I’m writing this message for me. There is no one else I need to refer to because it’s all me. If I can truly see and address MYSELF, then I can address all else- the “other myself” with all my heart. Not only does this give me the “credentials” to do so, it gives me the needed empathy, insight and compassion to see myself reflected back in all there is.
Yet, as it stands right now- This Ain’t Happening!
So, I’m the healer and spiritual messenger that wants to help. But I’ve got to help myself by seeing myself in everyone else. Just think about it DeBorah. If you look around you in this healer’s role and all you see is sick and wounded people, what does that say about you? Am I sick? Am I wounded? Am I a jealous backbiting so and so that’s so easy for me to identify in the other? Could it be I’ve come here with a passion to help and care because I have been there or (more accurately) helped to put another “there” in a past life somewhere? Could it be that if I see others judge and blame, that I’ve done (or am doing) the same? In this life or another, to one degree or other, have I been backbiting and fire igniting?
So today, there is only me in this world. What I see back is a reflection of me. If it’s beautiful. It’s me. If it’s terrible, it’s all me!
And yet, at the same time, how can it all be G.O.D. as well? Maybe I’m just an actress in G.O.D.’s many movies, so that all of it and none of it is really me. G.O.D just needs me to bring the movies to life. But then why would G.O.D create a production with all this pain and suffering? Given that I’ve been given free will, I guess it’s the same as in life. The “drama” that goes on during and behind the scene of any production isn’t that of the writer, director or producer, yet it’s what happens when every actor has been given a mind of their own to express their creative talents. For the writer, director and producer, the risks are higher using a “real” cast of characters, yet the rewards are far more fulfilling. The Creator’s job it to coordinate the show and keep everyone in harmony, along with his “staff of angels” overseeing every aspect of the production. They are the ones behind the scene cueing the actors with their lines when they forget, hoping they’ll have total recall and regain their confidence and stage presence once again.
Would I ever think that when I go to the movies it’s being created while I watch it? No! Beginning, middle and ending, it’s all been carefully written and is being played out on a projector of light, caption by caption for my viewing pleasure.
This is a great analogy. G.O.D the father is the mastermind behind the whole production and G.O.D the mother (mamma matrix) is the script in every actor’s hand that glues the whole thing together. Written by G.O.D the father and set into motion by G.O.D the mother, the “s/hero” or G.O.D the son, plays the role of the redeemer and/or destroyer of that which came before.
The reason why G.O.D loves and accepts each and every one of us is because G.O.D knows, we are not the role we are playing and have merely forgotten our lines in the agreement we made to be actors in the many movies of creation.
The reason why my person doesn’t love everybody is because it doesn’t know this. My person (that aspect of my essence Self that identifies with form and fear) has an intellectual knowledge of this union, but hasn’t made it an habitual direct experience. Vipassana meditators know this state as equanimity. It’s the emotional stability that comes from a balanced mind in situations of gain or loss and the serenity of knowing ones true self at all times, first through achieving intellectual knowledge and then through direct experience.
Since when did I get so caught up in my temporary suffering to ever doubt, that as I look out, I’m only seeing me? In the child abuser and the cocaine user, it’s still all me. It’s all G.O.D. It’s all fine. And yet, how do I stay in this place of the heart, when looks can be so damned deceiving? How do I live it, instead of just talk about it?
What if I imagined that everyone I want to reach and teach and help and assist were really assisting me? What if they were the ones making the sacrifice for my remembrance that none of this is real? What if the only thing to get is that I am it? All of it! What if I had no book that I had to write and no audience that had to hear my message? What if going inside myself and touching G.O.D was enough, without ever having to leave my front yard?
This is why today and always, everything I’m doing and writing and sharing is a message to myself. If I have the slightest idea that it can ever be done for the good of others rather than the joy of expression to “another myself,” then I have no business doing nada! If I have the slightest idea that “someone” owes me anything or that I owe “anyone” anything for my gift of expression, then I had better come again.
There isn’t anybody here but the One, expressed in the Trinity (Generator, Operator, Destroyer) coming out of the None. The Three, that is the One, that is the None. From nothingness came all of creation and back to nothingness do we all return. Until the next go round!