Today, I share the fourth and final part of the eulogy that I read for my mother’s funeral, along with my side note sharing the legacy and lasting impression she left on my ex-boyfriend, her ex-roommate and our very good friend Isaac.
The two most endearing qualities I’ll always remember about my mother are how she unceasingly prayed for those she loved (especially her children) and how she was always passionate and giving in everything she did.
Now both these qualities had a high and low side, like the time when I was in college and she prayed and prayed for me NOT to go to Africa for safety reasons, even though I really wanted to. Or how she was so passionate and giving of advice on how I should live my life- even when it wasn’t asked for.
My mother didn’t leave a financial legacy, but what she did leave was a foundational one. What I mean by this is that she seeded in me the importance and responsibility of integrating ALL aspects of my person for the fullest and greatest expression of who I chose to be. She taught me that it’s okay to be sweet and sharing, as well as to swing a sword when needed. In this society (and especially for woman), it seems hard for people to accept strength and compassion in the same person. We are either strong and ruthless or compassionate and a doormat. All her life, my mother strove to integrate both, and I believe her health suffered as a result of this.
When I apprenticed in acupuncture, I learned that when a person is deficient in yang energy, they need to be cooled down (cold) and when a person is deficient in yin energy, they need to be warmed up (hot). Yet, the most dangerous condition is what my teacher, Dr. Ken Wright, called “flip flop.” That is when a person alternates between hot and cold. He gave a great analogy of what happens to a paper clip when you consistently bend it back and forth. It breaks!
For my mother, you were either in or out with her, on her good side or on her bad side, and she wore all her emotions on her sleeve for the world to see. She was fond of saying, “You can call me a lot of things, but I’m not a hypocrite.” This is so true of Daisy because she would let you know exactly where you stood. The truth is, because she was so compassionate and giving from her heart, she felt and reacted to the sting of seeming betrayal and the hurt of ungratefulness more deeply than others. In the end, going back and forth in these extremes was the ultimate blow to her health.
On Thursday, November 14, 2013, Daisy Elizabeth Teresa King Bellony was called home to her God. She will join her mother, who also died on Thursday, November 14, 56 years ago. I would like to close this eulogy in my mother’s own words taken verbatim from a journal entry she made on Friday, February 10, 2011:
I am grateful for life and the love of God. I am grateful for all the blessings I experienced in the past days especially. I am grateful for traveling mercies. I desire that the Holy Spirit guide me in all things. I desire health, happiness and divine guidance for my children Moleto, Gerald, Richard and Deborah. I desire guidance in starting this mission that I so dearly esteem to bring souls to Christ and at the same time contribute to health and healing of the nation. I give thanks. So mote it be. Amen, Amen and Amen!
Side note:
Tribute: From Isaac Causey- Good Soil
It took me a couple of days to process that my good friend, adopted mom, personal nutritionist and life-saver had transcended to a higher realm. While I originally felt sad, I then realized that SEED becomes more powerful when put into the ground. Like any seed which appears to have no life, Daisy E. Bellony will blossom into a useful spiritual tree, providing nutrients (source of growth), shade (comfort) and sustainability to many. This is evident from what she toiled on Earth- good soil (children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, relatives and friends). Through us, the love, hope, joy and faith she prepped, groomed and nurtured in the physical will produce hundred-fold in the lives of people throughout the Caribbean and the United States.
As a child, I had these images of God- a big untouchable face in the sky that was too important to approach. Life’s journeys and revelations taught me that God actually comes to Earth in the form of a humbled, helpless baby, who is at the mercy of humans. Indeed, God is All-Powerful, Almighty and Omnipresent. However, God reveals Himself through common, ordinary people who take extraordinary steps of faith. Momma Daisy is one of those people who obeyed the call of Great Work when she saw humanity’s need and heard the Father’s order. As a follower of Jesus, she simply did what Jesus did- help the poor, counsel the trouble-minded, heal the sick, comfort the homeless and weary.
God is Spirit. The Powerful One does not have hands and feet. God needs people as much as people need God. Daisy answered God’s call on several levels- a trailblazing Caribbean woman in the medical field, a devoted church and family woman, a consummate professional, a brilliant business mind and an intellect with advanced degrees.
Now, Daisy has no more hands and feet. She is a seed in search of good soil. She needs us more than ever to continue the work she inherited from Jesus- feeding the hungry, counseling the trouble-minded, healing the sick, comforting the homeless and weary, and helping the poor.