Chapter 6: Pitfall #1 to Conscious Co-Creation

Khalil Gibran, author of the famous book The Prophet is quoted for saying, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” So, what is this great challenge that I speak of? In a nutshell, it’s this:

Seeking Energy From Another Person or Thing Rather Than Godsource

Because we have spent so much time being disconnected to our God source, life on earth has become a place where we struggle (consciously or unconsciously) to gain our energy from another person or thing. Most of us were never even taught that we actually CAN, tap into our inner power as our main source of energy.

Here’s a good analogy:
Did you know that in 1896, Henry Ford built his first automobile to run on pure ethanol, stating it was a cleaner, cheaper, better fuel for automobiles than gasoline? Yet, it was John D. Rockefeller, owner of Standard Oil, who successfully funded lobbyist to push Congress to pass the Prohibition laws that made alcohol illegal and thus began his monopoly of fueling gasoline run cars. If this seems hard to believe, do your own research and you’ll see.

Yet, I only share this to bring home the point that there are and always has been, other positive options for getting our energy, rather than how we were raised to get it from another person or thing. And what do I actually mean by getting energy from another person or thing? Let me break it down.

In the old paradigm, we tell ourselves, “If I can just get someone to love me and that I can truly love, I’ll be alright.” Or, “If I can just get the approval of my peers or impress my boss enough, then I’ll have emotional and financial security.” In the old paradigm, every action is taken with the need for approval or the need to impress. And why do we do this? For one simple reason and that is to gain the energy of another. Because think of it, if we didn’t need the energy of others, would we even bother with the song and dance? No!

In the new paradigm, the goal is to realize that energy comes from connecting to Godsource via the act of loving ourselves. When we embrace our inner family- the inner child, the inner warrior, the inner nurturer, the inner sage and so forth, THEN we are in a position to tap into our Godsource and truly be intimate with another.

Don’t get me wrong. Intimacy with another is a great thing, but we truly can’t be intimate without vulnerability, and vulnerability is the gift we give to another only when we truly love ourselves. The main reason we are afraid to be vulnerable is because if we are and the person doesn’t reciprocate, then our persons feel completely and utterly demolished- that is if we don’t love ourselves enough. Because if we did love ourselves, although it might hurt when love isn’t reciprocated, we still would have a steady stream of love and energy coming from within.

So, how does this all relate to Step 5? In order to explain this fully, I’d like to share another story with you from my personal life:

Back in 2002, my friend Kevin Jackson put on a major conference in Atlanta called The Gathering of Masters of which I helped to coordinate. There were over 15 powerful speakers lined up from, Dick Gregory, Sobonfu Some, Dr. Charles Finch, Dr. Delbert Blair, Hakim Bey, Dr. Phil Valentine, and Dr. Jewel Poolkrum, just to name a few. With all the big names also came some big egos and needless to say, as the coordinator, with only one volunteer, I was stressed out between meeting the needs of the speakers, the vendors, the attendants, and keeping my sanity.

The first day, there wasn’t even time enough for me to even have a lunch break. By the end of the day, I had reached a breaking point and I decided to go completely within as a coping mechanism. I found myself standing in a trance during the last lecture, in a meditation that lasted nearly four hours, long after everybody had left the hall and stopped trying to get me to respond to anything. I lost complete track of time. I ended up going deep into my heart space where it was told to me, “Be present with presence. Release the need for approval and the need to impress.” A deep sense of presence fell over me in that moment and I entered the space of my heart. I began to use the whole conference as my homeopathic pill. I was able to see, through being present, all the ways my actions were done with the need to get the approval of others and my need to impress, AND I began to see how it was all connected to the areas of my life where my inner family wasn’t nurtured.

I began to see just how deep a gap there was within me that wasn’t being fulfilled. I also began to really see the motivations behind some of my actions. Even my actions to serve, while altruistic, also had an edge of wanting to be important and associated with these “masters,” but at the same time being afraid to shine my light. This type of honesty was a hard pill to take, yet in a way it was liberating to see how much the need for approval and the need to impress were ruling my life.

So, when we stay present in the moment, in our bodies, with presence and the intention of seeing how many of our actions are based on us getting energy from another rather than relying on Source- it’s a liberating experience.

As a matter of fact, if you really want to know my truth, I believe if we were to just do this and no other practices, eventually it would free us to become the immortals we were destined to be at this time! Okay, so with that said, here is your activity for this step.

Activity for Step 5:

Task #1
For 5 minutes when you wake up and for 5 minutes before going to bed, when you are eating, when you go to the bathroom, when you are waiting, when you are traveling and whenever else it is possible, just center into your body and feel yourself there in the present moment. Focus on feeling different parts of your body at random from your feet, all the way to your head with complete presence. This exercise helps you to build muscles so you’ll have a better chance of remembering to stay in your own energy field when you are talking to others, especially someone you consider “difficult” or “desirable.” Also, before opening your mouth to speak to anyone take a deep breath and inwardly thank the person for being there.

Task #2
Throughout the day, whenever you find yourself slipping out of the present moment and losing your presence, just say, “Out of all the things I have to do, all the things I love to do and all the things I was destined to do, nothing is more important than what I am doing right now.” Take a deep breath and focus inwardly in your body.

Task #3
I learned this practice from a technique called Access Consciousness, founded by Gary Douglas and I find it to be very useful. It’s based on the premise that most of the thoughts that come into our minds are not even ours. They are part of the collective consciousness and they only become “ours” when we decide to react or identify with them. So as the first line of defense AND healing for the collective, anytime a limiting or fearful thought comes up, ask yourself, “Whose thought is this?” If you get a sense that it isn’t originating from your person, then you say, “Return to sender with loving consciousness attached.” By returning it to the sender, with loving consciousness, you are not only strengthening yourself, but you are also helping to do your part in clearing the collective consciousness as well.

So that was Step #5. Next, we’ll be covering the four (4) pitfalls to Becoming a Conscious Co-Creator and the last pitfall is a biggie!

Today’s inspiration comes from Chapter 4 of my e-book, Afraid Of Our Own Shadow: A Manifesto and Guide to Conscious Co-Creation. Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Conscious Co-Creation: Step 4

In this chapter, I’ll be sharing the fourth step to Becoming a Conscious Co-Creator and as always, I’ll have an activity for you at the end.

Step # 4
Allow Old Charge to Come Up Without Resistance

Before I get started on Step 4, let’s do a quick review:

Step 1: Know Who and What GOD Is
Step 2: Know Your Intrinsic Worth as an Aspect of Divinity
Step 3: Align Your Person, Your Power, and Your Purpose With the Creator of All That Is

Imagine if someone has been feeling a strong emotion or doing a certain action, and creating a certain self-image, for over 60 years and then one day, they decide to change. It is a that very moment that this person will have the greatest challenge. All that time and momentum they have invested in feeling, doing and seeing themselves a certain way that they now choose not to, is what is called charge. The most profound charge effecting our lives today is gathered from our prenatal and childhood experiences and continues to build momentum year by year. However, charge also comes from past lives, past generations and our collective consciousness on this planet.

As we claim to the world our new self-image, “This is Who I Am,” then everything unlike it will come up to be purified and to consolidate us in this new self-image. This is not to be seen as negative, OR something that requires changing things and especially people on the outside. The reason for this is because things and people are simply mirroring what is going on INSIDE of us, and in this case is based on your past self- image- which we’ll call charge.

The good news is the process can be fail proof and quite easy when we have the courage to allow ourselves to feel it all, without blaming, judgment or trying to fix the outside mirror. All of this hinders the process necessary to release old charge. One of my teachers once told me, trying to change or fix the thing on the outside is like looking into a mirror to comb your hair, but instead of combing your own hair, you try to comb the hair reflected in the mirror. Now, we all know this is impossible, yet in our lives it becomes challenging to resist the urge to do this, especially if we’ve been doing this for a long time.

I’d like to share with you another analogy that I came up with explaining this whole process so you can gain even more clarity. Image if you will the scorching hot sun of say the Sahara dessert. We’ll call this sun the Sun of Observation for the purposes of this analogy. Now, image if you will a large truck filled with frozen ice, you know the big, big chunks used for transporting perishable foods. We’ll call this frozen ice the ice of Frozen Past Emotions and experiences. If we were to unload that truck with all of that ice into the dessert, do you think we would need to do anything physically for it to melt into the water of fresh fluid Experiences? No! All we would need to do is let the scorching hot Sun of Observation do its magic and within no time there would be no more ice, no more Frozen Emotions and Experiences. So, just by observing your feelings and your reactions to people without judgment, eventually all the old charge melts away leaving you more refreshed and renewed into your new self-image.

Now, I just want to say here that there are some great techniques available that can aid in the process of releasing old emotions. Techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) which involves tapping on certain meridian points on the body used in acupuncture when negative past emotions come up, as well as ThetaHealing, which involves tapping into the theta brainwave, where true healing can take place and asking GodSource for the healing or release. These techniques and others are great and can be quite useful. Yet, I also want to stress here that for those of you who are able (and are not suffering from severely traumatic experiences), allowing your person to feel (NOT dwell on- and I’ll explain the difference in a minute) the emotion, no matter how uncomfortable it may be seem, allows for great insight to be gained. You see, when we just want to hurry up and get out of the pain or to fall for the temptation of changing the thing or person in the mirror, we lose a great opportunity for self-knowledge that comes with the awareness of understanding our patterns of the past. The more aware we are of these patterns, the more we are able to notice them when they come up. And they come up every where! In the things that we say, the thoughts that we entertain, the people we attract and the responses we have to these people. Awareness of these patterns is the greatest step toward liberation. I want to stress here that it’s only by being willing to feel the feelings that come up in the moment, that we are able to gain this awareness of patterns. Now we are not dwelling on the feelings, we are simply acknowledging they are there and saying “thank you, that’s nice to know” without judgment.

On another note, I want to share two reasons why this process of releasing old charge is important BEFORE we take an active role in working towards conscious co-creations. If we switch straight into co-creation mode (full force ahead) without addressing the old charge, I’m going to share two analogies of the problems that may arise:

Analogy #1

The Healing Crisis
For those of you familiar with health and nutrition, you know that a lot of would be converts loose hope when they start to eat more healthy without first addressing all the existing toxins in their body. Eventually all the toxins that were in the body before begin to push their way into the cleansing organs and blood stream and if not handled in a systematic way, it can cause what is coined in the healing profession as a “healing crisis.”

Analogy #2

Be Careful of What You Ask for Because You Just Might Get It.
In other words, if we begin the process of co-creating and we don’t truly know why we want what we want, then chances are we might not be happy when we get it.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. For years, one of my person’s goals has been to have a cellulite free, muscularly defined body. Now part of the reason for this goal I know is that as a former college basketball player, my person remembers the freedom I felt around being in shape. But, when I began to dig deeper and become more aware of my patterns and subconscious desired, I realized this need to be muscularly toned was centered around my person’s need to either impress others as a means of gaining approval or to defend my person from being hurt by others. So, now I’ve really eased up on this goal that used to run my life and be the source of much guilt and self-judgment based on my level of self awareness.

This leads me into the topic of what spirituality truly is. Spirituality is simply awareness without judgment. When we are aware of what we are up to, eventually and with time we act in a more spiritual way. Essentially, it’s not what we want (altruistic or self serving), but why we want it and not what we do, but why we do it that makes the biggest difference in our lives.

Some of us mistake spiritual practice with spirituality; however, meditating everyday and doing rituals, yoga and even praising G.O.D doesn’t make us spiritual. We are spiritual when through awareness we are able to recognize when we are at that a crossroads situation and we have to make the choice to act based on our old self-image or based on our new self-image of what we want to experience.

So, I’ll share my last analogy to bring this point home before switching gears into the activity for this step. This last analogy is based on my years as a former college basketball player. Everyday, Monday through Sunday, we had practice in the gym. Pre season we even had the initiation or rites-of-passage of conditioning to prepare us for the new season. Now all of this practice and preparation was executed by our coach with the hopes that when game time came (which can be likened to the game of life), we would perform to our greatest abilities and thus make ourselves and our coach proud. The key here is to perform, because even though our coach wanted us to win, she was more concerned that we played a game honorable to our skill set. And so it is with spiritual practice. It is done with the hope that in the game of life, our current level of awareness will allow us to make choices based on our current self image. Okay, so with that said, here is your activity for this step.

Activity for Step 4
1. With your new self-image in mind, write down all the ways that your person has sabotaged you in the past or that you can imagine it will try to sabotage you in the future.

2. Now, for the entire week, commit to feeling and allowing the old charge to just come up without judgment. If you are use to reacting to others-stop. Or at least acknowledge without judgment that this is what you are doing.

3. At the end of the day, write in a journal all the things that came up for the day and how you chose to handle them.

So that was Step # 4. Next, we’ll be covering Step #5.

Chapter 3: Conscious Co-Creation: Step 3
In this chapter, I’ll be sharing the third step to Becoming a Conscious Co-Creator and as always, I’ll have an activity for you at the end.

Step # 3

Align Your Person, Your Power, and Your Purpose With the Creator of All That Is.

Let me break that down. Align your Person (which is your Self-Image or what you identify yourself to be), your Power (which is your attention or what you focus on), and your Purpose (which is what you want to create or your intention) with the Creator of All That Is or whatever other name you call the Infinite.

Who Am I? Who I Am! The same three words, yet what a profound difference in meaning. The first sentence asks a question based on uncertainty, and the second makes a declaration based on surety. Since the days of antiquity, humankind has searched for self- knowledge. The Egyptians held this task in such high esteem that the inscription “Man, Know Thyself” can still be found on temple walls as a starch reminder.

At the age of 19, I was graced to be exposed to the Ausar Auset Society (AAS), an African American organization based on Kamitic or Egyptian spiritual principles and practices. The leader Ra Un Nefer Amen, wrote many books and meditation tapes. I happened to get my hands on one of the meditation tapes when I was at a bookstore asking G.O.D for guidance on my next step because at the time, my person felt lost. This set me on a whole new path that laid the foundation for all of my other spiritual practices that were to follow. One, of the greatest understandings that I took away from the Ausar Auset Society was the practice of referring to myself as my “person.” In other words, we were taught that in the word “individual” there is also the word “dual” which means two parts. We have the persona, which is whatever role we are playing at any given time. For instance, my persona is a Black woman, a student, a teacher, a Sagittarius, etc. Yet, all these roles are not truly who and what I am, for as we went over in the last chapter, our true nature is an aspect of the Creator, experiencing Itself through Its Creation.

When Moses asked G.O.D’s name, It replied, “I Am that I Am.” What we know about this statement is that “I AM” is the first cause of everything. That is why it’s so important to be mindful of what words we put after the statement “I AM.” So, if we have been saying for years, I’m sick and tired, it’s no wonder we show up in life sick and tired. Just stop and think for moment of all the ways in the past our persons have been abusing this powerful statement. It’s for this reason I’m so grateful to have learned from the AAS to refer to everything challenging within me as “my person” rather than “who I am..” For example, my person is tired, my person was afraid of sharing her message, etc. All of these statements are not declarations of what I know my true essence to be.

So, let’s get into how this all relates to conscious co-creation. The problem most of us have when attempting to co-create is that we focus on the end result or what we want to have, which is the fruit, instead of the cause, which is the seed. The process of co- creation is like planting a seed that with time, care and attention grows to bear fruit in our lives. First, we start with knowing our true essence, the causal or seed nature of who we truly are. This Being-ness, leads into thinking in this way, and this thinking leads into speaking in this way, and this speaking leads into acting in this way, and soon we are experiencing and having that which we planted- the fruits.

The “I AM” statement creates our self-image or persona, and we can only create in alignment to our current self-image. Now we can see why past attempts may not have worked if our self-image was one of anything less than perfection and an expression of GOD source.

Now, let me just stop here and say this. Although my person has known theoretically this concept from a young age; in the past, my person has gotten caught up in the drama of life and has forgotten to act off this knowledge based on “negative” experiences. And more importantly, the strong emotions that my person has harbored around these experiences, which in turn programmed my subconscious mind to believe these things to be true therefore creating a “Self-Image” or persona less than the perfection that I am a reflection of which is Godsoure.

The good news is that we can create a new self-image or persona by taking away from the old persona, and this is done by focusing (placing our attention-which is our true power) on a new persona based on what it is we want to experience (which is our intention or purpose). When we can align our Person, Power and Purpose with that of the Creator’s, then we can have true harmony in our lives. Okay, so with that said, here is your activity for this chapter.

Activity for Step 3
In order to become better conscious co-creators, we must create a new self-image based on the latest and greatest version of who we want to experience ourselves to be as an expression of Godsource. And what you were reminded of today is that your Being-ness, leads to Thinking, leads to Speaking, leads to Acting:, and All these things allows you to experience and have the things you wish to co-create. With that said, I’m going to share with you a template to create a new self-image. This template does four things:

1. It focuses on your seed or causal nature
2. It focuses on aligning Your Will with the Will of the Creator of All There Is
3. It focuses on the result or what you want to experience as your fruit
4. It focuses on gratitude and the present moment

Okay, so here is the activity:

Task #1
I want you to get four index cards and you’ll be putting a statement on each one. If you don’t have any index cards, just write these down on a sheet of paper for now.

Task #2
On index card #1 write out: I AM Being a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing. (fill in the blank with all you want to experience) and then end it with Now! I’ll give you an example:

I AM Being a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing Happiness, Wealth, Health, Kindness, Silent Compassion, Generosity and Courage Now!

So, the important thing is to take into consideration what it is that you would like to experience. Determine what is most important for you at this time and put those things in it. This will probably be different for each person, so make it personal to you.

Task #3
On index card #2 write out: I AM Thinking Thoughts of a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing (fill in the blank with all you want to experience) and then end it with Now! So to follow the last example:

I AM Thinking Thoughts of a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing Happiness, Wealth, Health, Kindness, Silent Compassion, Generosity and Courage Now!

Task #4
On index card #3 write out: I AM Speaking Words of a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing (fill in the blank with all you want to experience) and then end it with Now!

Task #5
On index card #4 write out: I AM Doing Actions of a Conscious Co-Creator with the Creator of All That Is and I give thanks for experiencing (fill in the blank with all you want to experience) and then end it with Now!

Task #6
Now that you have all fours index cards filled out, for 4 days in a row, I want you the say each card 4 times, 4 times a day (preferably between 3-6am, 9-12pm, 3-6pm and 9-12am) Attempt to adhere to this as best you can, but your intention and focus are most important.

Now remember, manifestation happens at the rate and to the degree of our certainty and what blocks our certainty are our beliefs and emotions we have stored in our conscious and subconscious minds.

At first, don’t worry about if you believe the statements or not. Remember this is different from positive affirmations like, “people like me, I have lots of money,” etc. These are not causal in nature and focus on what you want or the fruit. What we are doing here is making a declaration, creating a new seed Self-Identity based on what you want to experience as an expression of G.O.D source. This is quite different right? Remember, your attention and intention creates your experience. Your attention, what you focus on, is your life force. The more you can imagine acting as if it already happened and feeling as if you are already experiencing what it is you want to experience and have, the better it is for you.

Just as if you plant a seed in fertile ground, allowing nothing to obstruct its harvest, when this is done deliberately, it’s inevitable that you will co-create just what it is that you want to experience founded on a totally new Self-Image.

I want to say here that this exercise might morph into something entirely new as it did for me. This is just to get you started and you should never be locked into anything out of obligation or blind ritual. Allow this process to flow and be designed with you in mind. Next, we’ll be covering Step #4

Step # 1: Know Who and What G.O.D Is
Step # 2: Know Your Intrinsic Worth as an Aspect of Divinity

From the time I could read and write, the search for self-definition was the subconscious motivation for everything I did. This compelled me on a path that included religious, astrological, metaphysical and healing arts studies in order to understand my place in the universe. At age 18, I had a revelation that changed my understanding of everything. This revelation was experienced in every aspect of my being and wasn’t based on anything I read or was told. It became crystal clear to me that we are not only connected to, but are part of the Creator, and that life is categorized by two motivations or movements. One is moving away from the Creator, and the other is moving back toward the Creator.

As a result of this revelation, I became content, but not complacent. I was content because I understood for the first time that “who I am” is essentially an individuation of Divinity here to demonstrate this Divinity through everything that I feel, do, and react to in this world. I was content because I realized that in this fail proof journey of moving away and returning to Source, we are all aspects of the Creator experiencing Itself through Its creation and there essentially isn’t any failure.

So to explain this in a more practical way or a down to earth way, I like to use the example of an electrical outlet. Without one, no appliances can work. It gives energy to everything. The beauty of life is in how everything and everyone expresses the energy they are given. So for example, one plugs into the outlet, turns it on and wow, they discover that they are a fan here to blow the air of understanding on humanity. Another plugs in and boom they discover that they are a washing machine, here to clean and wash out the misconceptions that prevent humanity’s ascension and so on.

Although I am content with this knowledge, I am also not complacent, for as G.I. Joe says, “Knowing is only half the battle.”

My challenge is to state to the world with clarity and integrity who I am expressing my self to BE, based on my actions in every moment. Because essentially, after we know who we are BEING, it’s what we DO that gives expression and celebration to our Source and says the most about us at any given time. Okay, so with that said, here is you your activity for this chapter.

Activity for Steps 1 & 2

From what you know about yourself to date, what would you like to experience and create in your life? Also, what legacy would you like to leave for the next generation? Someone once told me, “There is no success without successors.” I always remembered that because since a lot of this knowledge wasn’t passed down to the next generation (for many reasons we won’t get into here) our persons have become so disconnected to our true essence today. So please take the time to give this some thought and write it down. Next we’ll be covering Step #3