Pushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute | Deborah B.'s Travel Bug Blog

Mar42014

Getting To Know Daisy- Part 4

DeBorahPushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute Comment

Today, I share the fourth and final part of the eulogy that I read for my mother’s funeral, along with my side note sharing the legacy and lasting impression she left on my ex-boyfriend, her ex-roommate and our very good friend Isaac.

The two most endearing qualities I’ll always remember about my mother are how she unceasingly prayed for those she loved (especially her children) and how she was always passionate and giving in everything she did.

Now both these qualities had a high and low side, like the time when I was in college and she prayed and prayed for me NOT to go to Africa for safety reasons, even though I really wanted to. Or how she was so passionate and giving of advice on how I should live my life- even when it wasn’t asked for.

My mother didn’t leave a financial legacy, but what she did leave was a foundational one. What I mean by this is that she seeded in me the importance and responsibility of integrating ALL aspects of my person for the fullest and greatest expression of who I chose to be. She taught me that it’s okay to be sweet and sharing, as well as to swing a sword when needed. In this society (and especially for woman), it seems hard for people to accept strength and compassion in the same person. We are either strong and ruthless or compassionate and a doormat. All her life, my mother strove to integrate both, and I believe her health suffered as a result of this.

When I apprenticed in acupuncture, I learned that when a person is deficient in yang energy, they need to be cooled down (cold) and when a person is deficient in yin energy, they need to be warmed up (hot). Yet, the most dangerous condition is what my teacher, Dr. Ken Wright, called “flip flop.” That is when a person alternates between hot and cold. He gave a great analogy of what happens to a paper clip when you consistently bend it back and forth. It breaks!

For my mother, you were either in or out with her, on her good side or on her bad side, and she wore all her emotions on her sleeve for the world to see. She was fond of saying, “You can call me a lot of things, but I’m not a hypocrite.” This is so true of Daisy because she would let you know exactly where you stood. The truth is, because she was so compassionate and giving from her heart, she felt and reacted to the sting of seeming betrayal and the hurt of ungratefulness more deeply than others. In the end, going back and forth in these extremes was the ultimate blow to her health.

On Thursday, November 14, 2013, Daisy Elizabeth Teresa King Bellony was called home to her God. She will join her mother, who also died on Thursday, November 14, 56 years ago. I would like to close this eulogy in my mother’s own words taken verbatim from a journal entry she made on Friday, February 10, 2011:

I am grateful for life and the love of God. I am grateful for all the blessings I experienced in the past days especially. I am grateful for traveling mercies. I desire that the Holy Spirit guide me in all things. I desire health, happiness and divine guidance for my children Moleto, Gerald, Richard and Deborah. I desire guidance in starting this mission that I so dearly esteem to bring souls to Christ and at the same time contribute to health and healing of the nation. I give thanks. So mote it be. Amen, Amen and Amen!

Side note:

Tribute: From Isaac Causey- Good Soil
It took me a couple of days to process that my good friend, adopted mom, personal nutritionist and life-saver had transcended to a higher realm. While I originally felt sad, I then realized that SEED becomes more powerful when put into the ground. Like any seed which appears to have no life, Daisy E. Bellony will blossom into a useful spiritual tree, providing nutrients (source of growth), shade (comfort) and sustainability to many. This is evident from what she toiled on Earth- good soil (children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, relatives and friends). Through us, the love, hope, joy and faith she prepped, groomed and nurtured in the physical will produce hundred-fold in the lives of people throughout the Caribbean and the United States.

As a child, I had these images of God- a big untouchable face in the sky that was too important to approach. Life’s journeys and revelations taught me that God actually comes to Earth in the form of a humbled, helpless baby, who is at the mercy of humans. Indeed, God is All-Powerful, Almighty and Omnipresent. However, God reveals Himself through common, ordinary people who take extraordinary steps of faith. Momma Daisy is one of those people who obeyed the call of Great Work when she saw humanity’s need and heard the Father’s order. As a follower of Jesus, she simply did what Jesus did- help the poor, counsel the trouble-minded, heal the sick, comfort the homeless and weary.

God is Spirit. The Powerful One does not have hands and feet. God needs people as much as people need God. Daisy answered God’s call on several levels- a trailblazing Caribbean woman in the medical field, a devoted church and family woman, a consummate professional, a brilliant business mind and an intellect with advanced degrees.

Now, Daisy has no more hands and feet. She is a seed in search of good soil. She needs us more than ever to continue the work she inherited from Jesus- feeding the hungry, counseling the trouble-minded, healing the sick, comforting the homeless and weary, and helping the poor.

Feb242014

In Her Own Words- A Black History Tribute

DeBorahPushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute Comment

We all know that the shortest month of the year can never do justice to the race that has been contributing to world history the longest. Yet and still, I’d like to pay tribute to Dr. Carter G. Woodson, founder of Black History Mo nth and author of the classic, The Mis-Education of the Negro, by sharing a piece my mother wrote in her journal back in 2000.

I discovered for the first time where my writing gift came from when she originally shared this piece with me, waking me up early one morning, excited to share what she had “downloaded.” I was so impressed by what she wrote, that I typed it up and gave it to her with a card on her birthday. I hope you enjoy this Black History Tribute written in my mother’s own words.

We as Blacks of African decent, are people of rhythm. This came out of the rhythm of nature. We are earth people. Our ancestors studied nature by necessity, as a matter of survival. They were nomads. They wondered off at certain times looking for food. Therefore, they were impelled to study the stars, the planets, herbs, even the animals. They developed their so-called sixth-sense, their sense of perception.

When the White man of Europe came and invaded our ancestors and sold them as slaves; their culture was stripped from them. They were treated in inhumane ways. They were deprived of their families. They were raped, beaten and overworked- forced to be traitors to one another. All these negative traits obviously had a negative impact on our ancestors; not only in the US, but also abroad. Yet the worst was that here in the Americas, our ancestors were not allowed to practice their religion- ways of culture, etc.

The body is a complicated mystical wonder. It is made up of bones, muscles, organs, nerves and glands. It also has a chemical and electrical component. It is a wonder in that man had studied this, a wonder he understands how it is made of what it is made, even the proportions in which it is made. Yet man can not make life. He can sustain it, but he cannot make it. This is the mystical, divine side of man. The life force energy field is in every cell of our being. It flows in us like a river flows. Effortless. We must capture that essence, the Divine Spirit within us.

Until then, will we have peace. Until then, will we forgive. We Must Forgive! We must let go of the hurt of the past, of the anger, of whatever we are holding onto, whether it is conscious or unconscious. We must get back to our nature, to the Earth.

Our ancestors had dances. They were tribal dances. In all of these dances, body movement and rhythm were an integral part. This was a form of expansion. Their bodies were one with nature. Their minds were free. They were able to think and develop strategies. They stimulated the chemical component in their bodies. They did not need drugs!!! Their body chemistry provided them with the so-called “high” or peace that one wants when he turns to drugs.

This wonder, the body, must be functioning just as the Creator intends it to function. That is, we must be able to move our bodies without pain, just as we did when we were children. This is the key to rejuvenation! By moving our body parts with rhythm, sound and music, we then enhance this spiritual and chemical part of us. Each outer unit is attached to a certain color and this color to a certain chakra. This is the secret to the healing process.

The female pelvis contains all the secrets of nature. Black women, that of whom the Creator chooses to conceive and carry life and bring life into the universe, we are the most important beings. Think of this. Our wombs have been the carriers of our men. Black men. Great men. All kinds of men. Black women, in this aspect, we join all women everywhere. Every race, every culture, every creed. We all have this extreme gift from our Creator! Our pelvis is very potent. Use it to get close to God. Use it to unlock the mysteries of life. Powerful Life Force.

So Mote it Be!

Written by,
Daisy King Bellony

Feb182014

Getting to Know Daisy- Part 3

DeBorahPushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute

Today, I share the third part of the eulogy that I read for my mother’s funeral.

As a courageous trailblazer, she first moved to Berkeley and then settled in San Jose, CA. for a period of time. Later, she moved to Southern California, where she resided in Buena Park, CA. from 1976-1990. During this time, she continued her passion for teaching and worked for the Los Angeles Unified School District as a special education teacher, school nurse, counselor and health educator throughout the course of her career.

She achieved another Masters degree in Special Education from California State University, Fullerton, while continuing to work as a nurse for many leading hospitals in the Southern California area.

In 1991, she moved back to St. Thomas, VI to be closer to friends and family and worked as a nurse at the St. Thomas Hospital and as a special education resource teacher and school nurse for the VI Department of Education. In the late 1990’s she moved to Atlanta, GA. to be closer to her daughter and two sons and worked for the Fulton County School system for a short time. However, in early 2002, she permanently moved back to St. Thomas.

After leaving government service, she opened Bellony Consultants and Bellony Home Care Services, which provided skilled in-home nursing services as well as consulting services to private and government agencies.

Daisy was a devoted and active member of the Shiloh Seventh Day Adventist Church on St. Thomas and worked with its health outreach ministry. She also worked with the Wesley Methodist Health Outreach Ministry and numerous other community groups. She was a committed public servant who valued lifelong learning, family and a deep abiding relationship with God. Before her passing, she was actively engaged in starting a compassion support group to bring together people with similar issues, whether it be illness, relationship problems or life changes.

Feb112014

Getting to Know Daisy- Part 2

DeBorahPushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute Comment

Today, I share the second part of the eulogy that I read for my mother’s funeral, along with my side note regarding a certain choice she made that changed the course of our family’s history (for better or worse) and planted in my psyche, the seed of independence.

In 1962, Daisy graduated from UWI and moved to St. Thomas where she worked as a nurse at the Knud Hansen Hospital. While on St. Thomas, she met Moleto Smith A. Smith, Sr., the father of her eldest child. Daisy continued to seek advanced education by applying for graduate studies in New York. While several months pregnant with her first child, Moleto A. Smith, Jr., Daisy moved to Brooklyn and worked at the Brookdale Hospital.

In the late 1960’s, she moved to Elizabeth, NJ where she continued to pursue her education, by attending graduate school at Jersey City State University. She also taught for the Newark Public School system during the daytime and worked nights and weekends as a nurse for various hospitals.

On November 9th, 1965, she married Solomon Bellony, a native from the island of Dominica and the union produced three other children- Gerald, Richard and Deborah (that’s me!). Throughout her time in the metro-New York area, she worked at the Columbia Presbyterian Hospital, Mount Sinai Hospital and several other prestigious hospitals. In 1976, she re-located her family to California after having separated from her husband Solomon.

Side note:
I was around 5 years old and I still remember how my mother packed me, my brothers and her sister and brother-in-law all in a car with all of our belongings and drove from New Jersey to California all by herself. Whenever anyone asked why she left my father, she used to say, “There was no way he was going to have all the privileges of a married man and live like a single man.”

Feb42014

Getting to Know Daisy- Part 1

DeBorahPushing Daisy Tuesday Tribute Comment

Today I thought I’d share the first part of the eulogy that I read for my mother’s funeral along with my side note regarding a certain event where I believe a lot of my mother’s “attitude” and ambition originated.

Daisy Elizabeth Teresa King Bellony was born on Sept. 26th, 1937 to David King and Catherine George King in the village of Seaview Farm, Antigua. She was the youngest of 13 children. In school, she excelled in many areas, but her passion was public service, primarily in the fields of health and education. She attended the prestigious Antigua Girls High School and graduated in 1954.

While studying at the Antigua Nursing College, she worked as an assistant in the medical office of her eldest brother, Dr. Peter King. Yet, she aspired to expand her educational opportunities by applying and being accepted to the University of the West Indies (UWI) School of Nursing in Jamaica.

In Antigua, Dr. King was loved by many as one of the first local pharmacist and physicians and my mother looked up to and aspired to be successful like her brother. But through my mother’s eyes, he had one dark side when it came to her educational goals.

In 1957, she experienced a deep personal lost when both her mother and father passed away. Yet, without Daisy’s knowledge or consent, her brother wrote to UWI and told them that this wouldn’t be a good time for her to attend college because of the loss of her parents. My mother happened to find the correspondences between the University and her brother and viewed his actions as an attempt to hold back her educational goals so she could continue to work in his office. She not only wrote back to the school to be admitted, she also demanded that her brother pay for her tuition as well!

Side note:
I still remember my mother telling me how she called her brother after she graduated on one of those rotary phones where you spoke into the speaker and held the receiver to your ear. She told him, “I am just calling to let you know that I made it!”

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